Origins of Piano Wire
by kerali
Summary: Post-movie one shot of Veronica examining how she first became jealous and how that developed over her and Logan's relationship. Originally posted on AO3.


A/N: Originally posted on AO3 for the VMHQ Veronica Mars Smut-a-thon III: Electric Smutaloo - 2018.

The room gently lightens as the sun rises, and Veronica can't shut out the world that is waiting for her to get up. The space next to her is empty and cold, and she vaguely remembers Logan's attempt to quietly get dressed to go meet Chris to go running. It was his return to routine to stay in shape to make sure he doesn't have issues when his month of leave is up. A plan she had openly dismissed based on his attention to her the previous night. Thinking back now, that was probably just wishful thinking that she might get a repeat performance. At least she knows that his morning runs will only interfere with their morning sex life.

She lays quietly as she does most mornings that she wakes up in Logan's alcove at Dick's house, making sure she doesn't hear Dick moving around. As much as she loves this space, she'd rather avoid any unnecessary encounters. She's managed well in the week since Logan's return, but Dick has purposely made himself scarce. Unfortunately, Logan's return to schedule means that Dick will probably be around more as well. She looks at the time and based on when Logan left, it'll probably be just 10 minutes or so until he is back. She manages to get out of the bed and pulls on some pajama shorts under Logan's t-shirt and heads to the kitchen. He filled her in on his post-run breakfast, so she starts to get the food out for him.

Other than cutting up some fruit, there's not much to do, so she makes a cup of coffee to take back to bed to wait for Logan. This last week has been so much like it always was with them, that this is a reminder that he isn't the same as he was in high school or even college. He would get up early then, but only for surfing and for sex. Even then, at least with her, he only got up early for sex if she had to leave early. With his new military routine and fitness expectations, it may be her turn to wake up early to spend time with him, but she'll continue waiting in bed.

She can't see much of the beach where he'll be coming from, but it's enough that she'll have time to make it to the deck to ogle him without his shirt when he gets back. It's only been a few minutes when she sees two people running around the bend in the beach. They run across her vision and into an area that is blocked by wall, but the brief glimpse is startling.

She hasn't met Chris, _he_ isn't military, more marathons and Iron Man training, but is friends with Logan and has been his running partner any time he's staying with Dick. Logan didn't say much, often focusing on the help he needed when he wasn't on base to keep running and stay in shape and it wasn't going to be from Dick. Chris lives a few blocks away and they meet and run on the beach a few times a week. She doesn't know if it was a deception on Logan's part or not, but she didn't expect Chris to be wearing a sports bra.

She knows they'll both likely come in for food, and walks over to the edge of the door leading out to the deck where she can observe them coming back without being seen, but it's _not spying_. As they get closer she sees that in fact Chris is a woman. A tall, athletic, tanned and beautiful woman. She has brown hair that is pulled back so she can't tell how long it is, but she has a lean body with curves that a lot of men, _including Logan_ , would love. Running with her boyfriend, wearing a sports bra and running shorts.

She watches them reach the deck and collapse to sit on the steps for a minute. She is close enough to hear them talking so she doesn't move, _not that she's worried_. The woman, Chris, pokes Logan's arm telling him, "Come on, stretch now or cramps later."

They stand up and begin stretching each leg in turn against the stairs. Logan looks and notices Chris's ass in her shorts, not long enough to really bother Veronica, he didn't stare or even seem that attracted, but Chris notices and calls him out on it.

"You're not staring at my ass again, are you Echolls?" She stands up and switches legs and laughs at him.

Logan responds with a laugh of his own. "Please, if we're talking about ogle worthy, it would all be about me." He emphasizes this by running a hand down his very nice abs with his trademark smirk lighting up his face.

"Nice deflection, but I bet even that girlfriend of yours might disagree, just to put a stop to your ego." Veronica is relieved to know that _she_ knows about his girlfriend, but Logan is a very attractive man and him having a girlfriend hasn't stopped women before, and he enjoys flirting. She hasn't had to deal with this, this time around, but she should have known it was coming. Unfortunately, his next comment doesn't make her feel any better about _this woman_.

"Hey, if you wanted your shot, you waited too late." She feels anger stirring at his flirting and comment, but is also amazed at his ability to flirt while also exhausted and reinforcing that he's off the market.

"Yeah, like you ever had a shot with me. You would have had better luck with Sam. By the way, it's impressive how much of a puppy you can be by mooning over your girlfriend during a run, that's an impressive level of schmoopiness." Maybe she is also off the market, but she doesn't remember Logan talking about a Sam, so she wonders if this guy knows about Logan. Maybe it's ok if they are all friends and these two are just the runners, but Logan is obviously close enough to her to joke and flirt.

"I am not schmoopy!" Logan is indignant at this and Veronica snorts out a laugh at his tone and knows that her spy time is over.

Logan looks up at her walking towards them and it's like everything disappears around them. "I thought I heard voices." She reaches close to him with him climbing the stairs to meet her. She is carrying her cup of coffee in both hands in front of her so he can't grab her the way he looks like he wants to, so he settles for reaching behind her head and leaning forward to kiss her. He starts slow, but the tension begins to build as he slips his tongue into her mouth to explore her more thoroughly. She begins to respond and is about to reach an arm around him when they hear a throat clearing.

"Ahem, ahem…" Chris is smiling when they look at her. "That's right, ya got an audience kids."

Logan blushes slightly, but recovers his manners. He reaches an arm around Veronica's waist and brings her down the stairs to where Chris is standing. He gestures with his hand as he introduces them. "Veronica, this is Chris, my running partner. Chris, this is my Veronica."

Chris reaches forward to shake Veronica's hand and comments, "Great to finally meet you, he's talked a lot about you."

Veronica politely returns the handshake, but is more reticent in her respond, only saying "you too." She remembers a moment later and continues, "I got your breakfast started if you want to come inside."

Chris gives Logan a sly look as Logan hasn't stopped touching Veronica before she responds. "Yeah, I think I'll go annoy Sam for breakfast and let the lovebirds be alone." She turns to Logan and pats his shoulder and says, "Looks like you're not the only schmoopy one." She is about to turn, but Logan stops her and lets go of Veronica long enough to grab Chris around the waist and hug her. Veronica stands back, silently uncomfortable, but hears Logan say "Thank You" and they embrace long enough for her to respond "Happiness looks good on you." When they let go, really it wasn't that long, but she kisses his cheek before waving to Veronica and running off.

Logan returns to Veronica and kisses her again and this time she holds her coffee out to the side to wrap an arm around his shoulder and bring him to her. It only lasts briefly due to how sweaty he is and she responds by making an icky face. He kisses her once more before he teases her, "just wait, I'll make sure you're plenty wet in a little bit." He steals her coffee and takes a sip before putting his arm around her and leading her inside.

They finish making his breakfast in silence, it being to early for her to really eat much, but him needing the food after his run. They stand across the island from each other, knowing he won't finish eating if she is within reach. They generally chat about how he felt on his run and their plans for the day, but she can't stop thinking about how close and affectionate he was with Chris. She doesn't want to ask directly, but she eventually has to comment. "So, Chris is a girl."

Logan looks at her like she's odd for stating the obvious. "Yeah, she's a girl."

Veronica looks at his plate and points out the other point. "You didn't say that, or, you know, use pronouns about her that indicates gender."

Logan smiles, childlike and amused, "Yeah, I don't talk about her much beyond 'I usually run with my buddy Chris in the mornings'."

Veronica refrains from rolling her eyes but gets the courage to ask. "So just a buddy?"

Logan's face falls slightly as he begins to realize this is more than just conversation for her. "Yeah, she's a running buddy. What are you really asking Veronica?"

"Well, did you ever date before, or maybe, you know, get together. Just you're so flirty with her."

Logan smiles at her and walks around the island to stand next to her and cups her face to make her look at him. "Put away the piano wire babe. Chris is gay, Sam is her girlfriend, and you have nothing to worry about, even if she were straight." Veronica starts to comment, but he shushes her. "The hug, was because she helped me break away from Carrie. She had a best friend who was an addict in high school and overdosed. She helped me recognize what I needed to do to protect myself."

Veronica feels somewhat embarrassed but can't admit that just yet and pushes another point. "But she's so pretty, and has a nice body, especially her ass."

He smiles as he realizes she must have been standing close enough to hear when they got back. "A lot of women are attractive, or have a nice ass, but they aren't you and that makes all the difference."

She is only slightly tempted to roll her eyes and realizes this is a sign that she needed that reassurance more than expected. This part of their relationship will be new. They haven't ventured out of their bedroom much and she knows they are going to have to navigate these issues that haven't always gone as well for them. She realizes that he must also be thinking of the past as well with his reference of piano wire, and feels the need to say something. "I'm surprised you remember that reference, the piano wire."

"Of course I remember, it let me know you cared."

Veronica feels more ashamed by this than anything. She knows that Logan is a flirt and she knows the difference between him flirting for fun and with purpose. She's been the object of his attention and affection, and when he is really interested, he is playful and fun, but almost single minded in his attention, but other women don't know that. She also knew that she wasn't good at letting him know that she cared. "I'm sorry, you know… that you had to put up with me being so distant and not letting you know I cared, sometimes even acting the opposite."

"Well let me know now."

"What do you mean?"

"When you mentioned piano wire, it wasn't the first time you thought of that, it came from somewhere. So tell me a story, when did I first make you jealous?"

He is looking at her with a grin, like a little kid that you can't deny anything. "Wouldn't you rather me show you?"

He leans forward and nips her ear. "Yes, later, but I was more out of shape than I expected and I unfortunately need to recover a bit. Come to bed though and tell me a story." She doesn't get the chance to answer because he bends down quickly and grabs her behind the knees before throwing her over his shoulder making her squeal. He pats her on the ass and she laughs as he carries her to bed. He lays her down more gently than he picked her up and joins her on the bed. "Story time."

She looks over at him with an indulgent look before she rolls her eyes. "Alright, so where should I start, with the jealousy or the piano wire."

"The jealousy of course if it came first."

"Fine, but it's a longer story than you probably think." She leans her head on his cooled chest and begins to tell him her story before he can comment.

 _Flashback_

 _Veronica walks into the cafeteria for eighth grade lunch. She was worried going into this year, not having Lilly, but it's not as bad as she thought. She sees her regular table and Duncan, Madison, Shelly and Dick are already there. She doesn't see Logan though, which is unfortunate because he is always a lot of fun. Thinking of it, he didn't talk to her earlier which was odd because he usually will at least say hi._

 _She was worried when he and Lilly started dating two months ago, but it didn't change much at school. She knows the upcoming Christmas break will be difficult, with all of her friends going on vacation, but her dad is taking a week off to spend with her. She scans the rest of the cafeteria and sees Logan at a different table. It's the rest of the eighth grade cheerleaders that aren't good enough to sit at her table with Duncan._

 _She sits next to Duncan, who nods and keeps talking to Dick. She turns to talk to Madison and Shelly, but they both get up and move to Logan's table. She sits the rest of lunch with Dick, Duncan and Luke who comes over to join them. She watches Logan from the corner of her eye and he is in rare form. Paying attention to all the girls gathered around, gesturing and laughing loudly. He gives them the little touches that they all become giddy over._

 _She wants to just go over and yell at them all, you're not special to him, but she isn't so sure. She knows Lilly isn't around, but it's weird for him to so casually flirt with all of those girls who would love to have something over Lilly._

 _She silently fumes through the rest of the day until she sees him waiting for his ride after school. She walks up to him and pushes him in his shoulder. He had a growth spurt over the summer which has given him a good eight inches over her 4'11 frame, but he's still lanky enough that when caught off guard he loses balance momentarily._

" _Hey, what the hell Ronnie."_

" _What is wrong with you?" She stares him down in an intimidating manner despite her size._

 _He runs his hand through his hair and looks at his feet as he avoids looking at her. "I see Lilly talked to you."_

 _Veronica is confused since she didn't see Lilly yesterday. "No, she didn't. Why are you ignoring me?"_

 _Logan looks up at her and she is sincerely confused and angry. "Lilly broke up with me, I didn't think you would want to talk to me."_

 _Veronica punches him again, in his chest this time with her facing him head on. "Well that was stupid, I'm still your friend."_

 _Logan hugs her with a grin on his face, relieved at not losing his friendship with Veronica. She's used to his affection, but this took her off guard and so it takes her a minute to return his hug. She doesn't know what stupid thing he did to make Lilly break up with him, but that didn't have to change their friendship. She also realized, that most of the girls there were more interested in catching a guy's attention, than in being around her. That's ok though, next year will be with Lilly._

Logan listens as her story trails off. "Really? Eighth grade?"

Veronica grins a little and blushes. "Yeah. It wasn't really jealousy like it was later, but I definitely didn't like you deserting me to pay attention to other girls."

Logan kisses her forehead. "I remember that breakup. Lilly was fooling around with a high school guy at a party, Casey I think, and someone, probably one of the girls let it slip to me. I asked her if it was a one time thing so she dumped me. I really was worried though, that it would change too much with you and Duncan. Then when it didn't at first I thought it never would, but then high school started."

His voice is sad at remembering how difficult it really was. As much as he wanted to love Lilly, she didn't make it easy. Veronica gives him a moment as she thinks of the next time she was jealous. "You know, the next time I was jealous was in ninth grade."

He's drawn back to the present, and the warm body of the woman he loves before he asks, "Ok, so what happened then?"

 _Flashback_

 _Two months they lasted this time. They were off when school started, like Lilly needed to start the year single, but got back together a few weeks later, only to last two months. She knows it won't last, the breakups never do, it's just a matter of time, but the times together seem to be getting shorter. She is excited for how the year has been so far. Great school, great new boyfriend, great friends and new clothes, courtesy of her mother's savings. Middle school was ok, but she had missed Lilly last year and this was supposed to be the year of the Fab Four. So far it's working out great._

 _She has only been dating Duncan for a few weeks, after he asked her out a little before homecoming, and it's the first day at school after Lilly and Logan's breakup. She sees Logan and he gives her a hug on the side and kisses the top of her head, mostly to show off how tall he is now while she only grew an inch. She hangs out with him at his locker since it's next to Duncan's and Logan is playful as usual. He has generally just accepted Lilly's need to break up on occasion and bides his time until she's over whatever pissed her off. He told her this weekend that he was annoyed it was right after she and Duncan got together, but he's dealing. He's tickling her sides and when he knows she's had enough, he brushes the hair away from her face._

 _She is surprised when Duncan and Lilly come up beside them when she didn't see them coming, but she had been focused on Logan at the time. She kisses Duncan's cheek and hugs him when he greets her. The last two weeks have been great for her. She feels like she has a family at home and another at school with her friends. Their group is complete. She has her best friend, boyfriend and a playful brother._

 _She's still not entirely comfortable around Duncan physically, he's never been as physically playful with her as Logan is, but Logan's like that with everyone. He's always touching shoulders, punching his friends, slapping their backs, like he needs the contact. He sometimes gets upset if someone touches him unexpectedly, but he just wants to know what's coming. The only thing she's not sure of today is how lunch will go. She knows Logan and Lilly will probably not sit next to each other, so she doesn't know how that will impact her and Duncan._

 _At lunch time, she sits at the usual table with Lilly and Duncan comes over for a minute and tells her that he's going to sit with Logan today, and will sit with her tomorrow. She sits with Lilly and her back is towards Duncan and Logan and she means to check on him after school. Lilly walks with her to her next class and it seems like she is with Lilly or Duncan for every moment she's not in class It's an odd shift with Duncan, this dating thing. He seemed to like her a lot, but wasn't the kind to need to see her between every class. It's the end of the day before she realizes that she didn't see Logan the rest of the day and then it's another week before she sees him again._

 _She's at the beach with her new puppy since her mom wasn't feeling well and was in bed. She feels like it's the first moment of peace she's had in a week. She's glad Lilly and Duncan had a family thing for Sunday lunch that they couldn't get out of, and she had made her excuses to not go. She thinks Lilly is just lonely since she dumped Logan and just doesn't want to get back with him yet. Maybe this is just Duncan as a boyfriend, but she's used to having some quiet time. She thought about calling Logan to see how he was doing, but didn't even want that much interaction._

 _She's throwing a ball for Backup when she sees several people from her school a little bit away. It's about four guys and six girls that are hanging out and enjoying the warm day. The girls are in bikinis even though it's probably too cold for that, and the guys are just wearing street clothes so it's not like they are getting in the water._

 _She starts to wander closer to see who it is when she realizes that it's Logan, Dick, his brother and maybe Luke, with Madison, Shelly, Ashley and a couple other cheerleaders. She doesn't approach at first, not especially comfortable with any of them but Logan, but it seems like he is doing better. He's flirting with the girls, picking them up at times and spinning them around and at one point he carries Shelley to the water like he's going to throw her in. She missed seeing him this week, but it's probably awkward with the Lilly stuff, so she just wanders on her way._

 _It's not until the next week when he's back in school that she realizes that he's not hugging her anymore, he doesn't give her an affectionate kiss on the top of her head, in fact he doesn't actually touch her at all. It's no big deal though, he just got back with Lilly, but those touches never come back. Even when he's with Lilly, he still touches everyone. Pats on the shoulder, play wrestling and when he wants to piss off Lilly, he flirts, touches girls hair and their face. Wraps his arm around their waist when he's taking to them, but never to her._

"So, that was the next time I was jealous. Not a super big deal, but something I noticed and ignored at the time. It hurt though, that you were that way with everyone but me it seemed, and it never changed, not until we dated."

Logan looks thoughtful and sad. "I'm so sorry. Did you ever mention that to Lilly?"

Veronica tilts her face towards his. "No, why?"

Logan leans toward her and kisses her forehead. "I don't know how you're going to feel about this, but Duncan told me to back off. He said I was being disrespectful of your relationship and that you both weren't comfortable with me being so affectionate… well, he said I was touching you too much. I thought it was weird, because I thought you would have told me if it bothered you, but after the next class, I asked Lilly and she agreed. Said that it bothered you since you had Duncan. That's actually why you didn't see me a while. I got drunk that night, felt cut off by everyone and my dad caught me. I'm so sorry, I had no idea that bothered you, I wish I had just asked."

Her heart is pounding, she knew Lilly was manipulative, had seen it often enough, but never thought that it would extend to her. For almost the first time since he left, she wishes Duncan would come back, she would love to get her hands on him. She looks at Logan who is loosely holding her and is nervously waiting for her to speak.

She rolls halfway on top of him and kisses him hard. "I am so sorry that we let them get away with so much, but they don't control us now."

Logan looks relieved at her words and rolls her to the side and follows with his own body, kissing her deeply and beginning to stroke the side of her body up towards her breast. Veronica lets herself be carried away momentarily, but stops him while she is still thinking. "Uh, uh, uh… I have more story to tell you."

Logan sinks his face into the crook of her neck, but rolls back to his spot and pulls her back into hers. "Fine." He lets his voice sound disappointed, but he's enjoying the insight into her mind when she's normally been so closed off and knows she's fully aware of that. "What's next?"

She smiles sadly as she kisses his chest before answering. "Sophomore year."

He looks confused momentarily, but then believes he got it. "Yolanda?"

"No before."

 _Flashback_

 _They stroll down the beach, arm in arm, the Fab Four. Veronica knows that they won't come out of this without being in trouble, but it's worth it. It's been a night of memories she'll never forget. She and her sister and their boyfriends. She can't believe it's been a year with Duncan and she has come to love his steady patience, adoration and consistency. He's everything she could dream of. It's hard sometimes though, it's like she wants more, but he's not ready._

 _She's not ready for sex yet, although she has thought of what it will be like with him. He touches her sometimes, and it feels good, but a lot of the time it seems like he isn't all that into it. Sometimes she wonders if he is nervous, but he'll kiss her sweetly with an adoring look on his face and everything shines. She's good with this, happy with him, but she sometimes wants passion._

 _She sees passion, all the time. Lilly and Logan are prime examples of a couple who can't keep their hands off each other, who need each other that much. Then there's all their friends in school who act the same at times. She doesn't really want all that, he public spectacle, but she wouldn't mind more urgency in private._

 _They're playing Never Have I Ever and she is shocked at Duncan having masturbated at school. It's not something that she's ever really seen from him. Obviously not actually seen, but also never considered. Of course she knows that guys do that sort of thing, but he never seems that turned on by her. He likes her in modest, girly clothes. He would never have called her 'hot', which was another embarrassment altogether, she feels like she liked that admission more than she should, but sometimes she wants to be hot._

 _She wants to be wanted. She doesn't know that she wants him exactly, but she tries to make him feel wanted. But sometimes, she wants to be looked at the way that Logan looks at Lilly. When they both admit to being a virgin, she tries to reward him with a passionate kiss, but it falls flat. She is thankful for the distraction of Lilly and Logan to cover for his lack of response. She would think he is just reserved, but he's tipsy, shouldn't that help a little. Lilly is there though, and Logan. So maybe Duncan isn't the most outgoing or passionate, but this is her family so it's all good._

 _It's only two weeks later that Lilly skips Logan's party. Lilly says she doesn't feel good, but Veronica can see the breakup looming. Lilly has never missed one of his parties, even if they were broken up, and their group of four feels weird without her, Yolanda doesn't offer the same dynamic. Yolanda is outgoing, fun and the guys find her sexy. She even suspects that Duncan finds her sexy as well. Yolanda doesn't do anything to encourage this, but Duncan doesn't treat her like his sister and Logan treats her like he does other girls. This could be a problem._

 _She tries to cheer up Logan during the party, talking to him and trying to make sure he doesn't drink too much and generally staying close, but then Duncan makes an excuse to go. When she sees Logan kissing Yolanda, she can't believe it. How could he do this to Lilly, to her. Why isn't she good enough to make him happy and to help him deal. Why doesn't anyone want her. She wouldn't have kissed him, even if he tried, but no one wants her like they want Lilly, and now Yolanda._

"Hey, I didn't _want_ Yolanda." For the first time, Logan sounds a little indignant at her assessment of events.

"I'm saying how I felt, and you did kiss her. I get it now though. At the time I didn't realize that Lilly was cheating and that you knew, I just always saw all these other girls getting the kind of attention that I sometimes wanted. I didn't really want it from random guys, but my boyfriend would have been nice."

"Do you really want to know what that was about, with Duncan?"

Veronica keeps her head on his chest, still feeling guilty of what is unsaid about when she dated Duncan the second time, but is curious to hear Logan's perspective, both as Duncan's one time best friend and as a guy. "Yeah, I guess, more because I'm curious than it really upsets me anymore."

"Well, some of this is conjecture based on what happened later and from what I've seen from other guys in our circle. You were the ideal, being auditioned and trained for the role of future wife. He wanted to have sex with you, I think he proved that later, but he was groomed to treat his wife with reverence and respect, and use others on the side for sex. As long as you were in that role of the ideal girl, he was never going to be passionate with you. Because 'proper women' aren't going to want to have the kind of sex that men want."

"That is some really misogynistic bullshit." Veronica looks up at him and he lets go of his hold on her to put up his hands in innocence.

"Hey, not my opinion, just want to be clear on that… but think of the marriages you saw, especially the Kane's. Jake had the socially appropriate wife in Celeste, and the passion on the side. Later on, when Duncan rebelled against that idea with you, he kept it a secret, he was trying to have it both ways. He never expected to try to sexually please a woman because it was about getting what he wanted. I think that's why he turned to Kendall. She didn't want him for sex, she used that to get money and access. I also think he may have fooled around on you before. Your description wasn't him at all, he had fooled around a lot with other girls before he dated you, at the time, I just figured you two kind of did everything but sex."

"You think he cheated on me the first time around?"

Logan closes his eyes, hates to damage her illusions of that time, but based on what she's already told him, that had already happened. "I think so. I'm sorry babe, I hate that he was more of an entitled jackass than I thought."

She lays her hands on his chest so she can rest her chin there. "I think this is bothering you more than me. I figured out a long time ago how entitled he was and let go of any illusions that he was the guy I first put on a pedestal. You need to let go of that to. I wasn't made out to be a trophy wife and I would never have been ok with being a mistress, so we were never going to be a good match. You are my partner now, in all the ways I wanted, both back then and now."

She decides that he needs a pause to her story, the next parts will be more difficult and will have them challenging issues they haven't dealt with since they got back together. She is confident they can, but a break might be nice.

She pushes with her hands to move her face closer to his until she can barely touch his lips with hers. His eyes are still closed, but he has a small smirk as he can feel her moving across his bare chest. "What happened to the rest of my story?"

Veronica whispers against his lips, "I thought we could use a break, don't worry, the next one is where piano wire came from."

Logan tilts his head forward to press his lips more firmly to hers and rolls toward her. His hands drift down her sides to where her shirt is bunched around her waist from laying in the bed. He runs his hands under her shorts and underwear over her smooth ass and pulls her astride him. He kisses her cheek, to her ear where he tells her how hot she is as he grabs her ass firmly. He kisses down the line of her throat to her collar bone as he runs his hands under her shirt, lifting it up until he has to sit up to pull it the rest of the way off. She keeps her hands up as he runs his fingers over her arms and to her breasts. He squeezes and flicks her nipple as she reaches around his neck. She puts a hand on the back of his head and pulls it down towards her breasts.

Both experience and instinct lets him know what she wants. He kisses and sucks down her chest until he reaches her left breast and takes her nipple into his mouth. Keeping one hand on her right breast, he lets his other hand drift down her back to her behind pulling her to grind against him. She pushes him back down on the bed and begins to move forward as he groans. This is something that was new with her. She always enjoyed what they did in the bedroom, but she has asked to try new things, and god when she liked something, she took the lead. This was something she asked to try right before he left and she hadn't initiated it since he has been back, but he is glad she is now.

He leans back as she stands in the middle of the bed to take off her shorts and underwear, before she slowly lowers herself over his face. He grabs her hips to help her position herself well before he starts with a gentle lick. She moans and grabs his hair and begins to beg for more.

She loves that he makes her feel comfortable enough to ask for this. Something she has never done before and she hopes that he will feel comfortable enough suggesting things he wants to do that she might like. After a couple of guys that tried to throw a surprise at her in the middle of sex, she was worried that she was destined for a pleasurable, but not particularly exciting sex life, until she came back to him. She was always intimidated by his experience, but after some of her own, she suspects that this is special for him as well. She knows that she isn't going to suggest something that will scare him off and that he will be honest with her, and god he makes it good.

He begins sucking on her clit and moves a finger to enter her as she starts riding his face. Momentarily she is cumming against him and she collapses to the side to avoid smothering him. He goes with her and begins kissing up her naked body. When he is close enough, she reaches down with her hand to put her hand in his shorts. She grasps his cock and begins slowly stroking him. He groans and pauses in his attention to her until she stops.

He pulls back to remove his shorts completely before he moves back to her. She stops him and begins to sit up to get on her hands and knees, but he stops her. "I want to see your face, stay here." She cups his face and kisses him as she lays back down in front of him. He kisses her and thrusts his tongue in her mouth. He is about to enter her, but pauses to look at her with a question. She doesn't speak but grabs his ass and pulls him toward her and she wraps her legs around his waist.

This is something new for both of them that she brought up. She wanted to feel him without a condom, and it took some reassurance, but he agreed. He still checks, but more and more often she wants him to go without. She told him the second time they did it, that she loved the feel of him cumming in her and that in itself sent him over the edge. He thrusts into her repeatedly, alternating between looking into her eyes and kissing her deeply. He knows he isn't going to last much longer and rolls over to pull her on top once more.

She takes a few strokes and rolls of her hips to find her pattern, but once she does he begins touching her breast and rolling her nipples to make her moan. He begins to join her thrusting and moves a hand to her clit to send her over the edge. She begins pulsing around him and he spills himself inside of her making her throw her head back.

She stays for a moment, letting the sensations course through her body until she feels exhausted and collapses against his chest. She rests her cheek against him as he wraps his arms around her, in no hurry to move. They lay there for a moment and he realizes that she has actually fallen asleep on him. He takes a moment to decide what to do before he rolls her off to the side and feels himself slip out of her. He considers waking her, but she was up earlier than usual, just to eat breakfast with him, so he tucks her in and lets her sleep. He takes a shower and dresses in clean underwear before he returns to bed.

He curls up next to her under the covers and relishes how she curves into him, pressing her body against his, even in sleep. He dozes off, but only briefly, as she responds to the heat of his body and begins to wake up.

"Mmm, you smell good" she mumbles sleepily. She buries her face in his neck more closely and takes a deep breath that makes him giggle at the ticklish sensation. "You showered."

"Yeah, well you passed out on me, not used to the early mornings…". He kisses her lips gently. "... and the emotional vulnerability can be tiring too."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was the sex." She smirks at him before kissing him again, intending it to be quick, but he responds and slides his tongue in her mouth quickly to taste her. He thinks she purrs, but she catches herself quickly.

"Well then Bobcat, I'd like to hear the rest of your story if you're ready. I'm curious to see what there was junior year."

"Actually, nothing that year."

He frowns slightly. He knows he was an ass to her, but it's not like they were out of each other's life. "Really...nothing?"

She grins at him, like she has a secret. "What did I have to be jealous of that year…". He looks like he's trying to decide if he should be offended, or jealous himself, or happy. "...you were always focused on me."

Understanding crosses his face and he realizes that she was right. After Lilly, he was always focused on her, whether it was anger, lust, or sadness, she was his center, and she grounded him.

"I had a lot of feelings about you that year, a lot weren't pleasant, but for the first time, I was the center of your attention, so no, no jealousy."

He realizes why she wanted a break, the next time she had a reason to be jealous was probably senior year. Duncan, Kendall, maybe Hannah, all land mines. "Ok, so what's next."

"From the look on your face, you've already guessed." She curls back down next to him, getting ready to talk, but she hears him whisper before she can.

"I can guess, but I've never heard about it, and not from your perspective." She knows what he's saying. She generally understood his motivations, but tried to tell herself that even though his actions in relation to her were selfish, they generally weren't really, he was trying to do things for her. He never saw her the same. He never believed that she could be jealous because he was never sure if she cared.

"Well, I guess I'll tell you."

 _Flashback_

 _She looks through the photos and suddenly she realizes why Logan is hanging on girls at school. She expected that, she thought he might try to make her jealous, flaunting girls in front of her like he did with Lilly, but no. He moved on. Apparently he moved on to the big leagues. Professional cheerleader, probably can do things for him that he would never get from her. She wonders if he even waited until she broke up with him. Maybe this is why he was willing to wait for her._

 _She doesn't let herself cry that night, after she confronted him. Doesn't let herself think of how he looked in that towel either. She does let herself be angry. Helping a woman cheat on her husband, she thought he was better than that. Maybe she really didn't know him. Is that why he was always hanging out with Dick and Beaver all summer. Is that where he went after taking her home from a date._

 _She also focuses on Duncan. He would never sleep with another man's wife. He would never cheat, he has sex with her, it feels nice, but he's not perverted like Logan and his whore must be. Duncan is the guy that she should be with. He respects her boundaries, doesn't feel the need to claim her by touching her all the time. He is comfortable. He wants her to be happy, to be happy with him and she can do that, until Logan is there._

 _She would accuse him of flaunting the bitch in front of her if she thought he cared. Duncan doesn't seem to care, which is surprising, but then she assumed he felt it was just Logan being Logan. He says it doesn't bother him at all, and she's surprised at that even more, but she can't focus when it's so loud. God, can she just stop screaming._

 _She has to shut her up, has to make the sounds stop, but leaving would be admitting defeat. She's never considered herself a violent person, but she would love to go in there and wrap a piano wire around her throat and just squeeze the air out of her. That would shut her up. It might be a little bit obvious though. She also might be just a little jealous._

 _What the hell does that woman have on all of these men. I mean yes, she's hot, and uninhibited, and will probably do anything in the bedroom the guy wants. That's it, it's not jealousy, it's judgment. Of the woman cheating and the men that help her cheat. She believes this, until Logan makes her think that Duncan cheated. Duncan wouldn't cheat on her though, would he._

 _He obviously wasn't against Logan being with the whore, but that doesn't mean he would. He was just helping her with something, in the bedroom, that Logan wouldn't help her with anymore, but she barely cares. When she found out about Meg, she cared that Duncan misled her about not having been with someone else, but of course he didn't lie. He said 'we were barely a couple' and 'we didn't even make it to summer', never said that he didn't have sex with her. He also doesn't deny Kendall, just ignores the accusation like its nothing. It barely phased her, then Duncan's gone and she's relieved._

* * *

 _She thinks she could deal if he was drunk at some party and slept with a girl like that, but he keeps going for relationships. She could deal with Hannah when she saw him using her. She didn't expect much more anyway, so no big deal. But now he's smiling, and not the fake, over the top one, but the sincere one, he cared about her. She realizes that it's not the sex, it's that he doesn't need her to be happy, doesn't really need her at all. At least she doesn't want to strangle Hannah, yet._

 _She feels relegated to being used for investigative skills, and she knows he finds her attractive, but he's not looking at her anymore. Even with Kendall, she wasn't there at school, he wasn't holding hands. Now she wants that piano wire to wrap around the throat of the innocent girl who she would normally dismiss as completely irrelevant to her life._

 _Then Kendall's back. He couldn't wait a few hours for her, just a few hours. She'll never trust him again. They could have a great relationship, get in one fight and he'll fuck a girl that night. How could she ever be with a guy like that, who would do the things he has done. She's better off, too good for him._

"Well that was harsh."

"I was a harsh person at the time, you know it's true, I only got worse."

"You have to know I never cheated on you. I didn't even sleep with Kendall until after I heard about you and Duncan. Dick saw you two on a date and I got drunk at his house, and I swear it was just sex."

"Yeah, but it was regular sex and with the same person, it was a relationship. Maybe not romantic, or even that friendly, but she mattered."

"Ok, so what about after that?"

"After that, it was any girl you were ever with."

"I thought you said you weren't jealous of the girls in my gym class?"

"I wasn't. I was never jealous while we were together, because I know how you flirt, and I know that once I'm there you don't give them a second thought, not really. I also know you wouldn't cheat on me."

"But what about what you said about Kendall?"

"I wanted to think that, because I wanted to be angry. I had to give myself something to be angry about. I did that a lot when I was jealous. I was such a bitch when you were with Parker, and even after I saw you with Carrie, no one knew why I was suddenly yelling at people." Veronica is thoughtful for a moment as she lays on him. She remembered a moment at Hearst, when he asked if she had cheated. "Did you ever, you know, doubt me?"

His voice is sad, thinking of the same moment. "Yeah, kind of. From that weekend you spent with Piz. He was all too happy to tell me how you had been there with him."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't want to fight, I was still trying to cling on to the relationship, trying not to give up and I didn't want to know. Even if you had, I was scared I would stay. If you hadn't, you would have been offended and I would lose you anyway. Lose, lose."

"I'm sorry, that was all the continuation of me being angry. The end of that year I was really starting to scare myself. Did I ever tell you that I almost cubed Madison's car?" She knew this was coming. She was generally over Logan sleeping with Madison, but they never discussed it. She feels him tense next to her and she leans her face towards his chest so she can kiss him. She rolls toward him more and wraps the arm she's not laying on around his middle. "It's ok, you know. Not what I did, but I'm not going to run."

He slowly tries to regulate his breathing and relax, this is one thing he is scared of, thoughts of her saying that she will never get over this one thing he did while wasted and probably pretty high, something he doesn't entirely remember. "Ok." He tried to leave it at that, but can't. "You know that I hate that I did that. Not just because you left me, but that entire holiday season was the worst. I was drunk and probably high for about two weeks straight, and I was just alone. I had a semester of getting away from the sycophants in high school and being able to stay away from the people that liked my last name at Hearst, but once that vacation started, I was right back. Dick didn't get it and half the time he used being with me and my name to pick up girls. Then that vacation and it was all of those same people and it was just awful."

"I'm sorry too. I let her get to me. I always focused on your faults because I never felt good enough, like I wouldn't measure up to your expectations… or experience. She saw me buying lingerie for you and told me you wouldn't like them. I built everything up in my head and never gave you a chance to explain. I promise I won't do that again."

"I promise to chase you and make you listen if you do."

"What about sleeping with other girls?" She smiles up at him so she knows she's not accusing him of potentially cheating.

"No chance, we won't break up."

"Good plan." She looks up at him, he looks relieved and comfortable with her and she feels secure now, even in no clothes and is overcome with how much she loves this with him, all of it. She blurts out, "I love you."

He looks at her for a moment, and she realizes that they haven't said that to each other yet, this time. Her anxiety builds, waiting for him to say it back, but before she can move or backtrack, his mouth covers hers. He pushes her onto her back and slides to be on top of her. She has her legs spread beneath him before she remembers she wasn't wearing any underwear. She feels him hardening against her and is swept away by feeling. He begins to kiss down her body, moving with purpose.

She grabs onto his hair when he hits a particularly sensitive spot, but he is on a mission. By the time he makes it to her hip, kissing one, than across her stomach to the other, she is already wet. He makes it to her clit and kisses her, but she's already soaking for him, taken away by his passion. He only kisses her and sucks her there briefly before he moves back up her body. As he begins to settle between her legs, she wraps them around his waist and sticks the toes of one foot in his underwear.

He seemingly just realizes he still has his boxer briefs in place and pushes them down just past his hips. She's never seen him in such a rush that he didn't take them all the way off, and she pushes them a little further down with her feet. He kisses her mouth and pushes his tongue in, making her forget how close he is until he pushes the tip of his penis into her. He holds himself there and kisses his way to her cheek and whispers, "is this ok?" She knows he means that he isn't wearing a condom and she quickly says "yes" before she pulls his mouth back to hers and pushes her hips toward his to feel him slide into place inside her.

He is caught off guard by her advances and exclaims "fuck, yes, veronica" and begins to meet her movements with his own. He brings one leg over his shoulder and starts playing with her breast, teasing and tweaking her nipple. He feels that she needs more and so he moves his hand to hers and glides it down her own stomach and guides her to start stroking her clit. When she seems comfortable, he moves his hand back to her breast, all the while keeping up his strokes into her with a strong hold on her hip. She starts stroking faster and pushes her hand a little further to rub her fingers against him as he moves. It only takes moments and she cums, causing him to cum with her.

He collapses against her, once again sweaty, and exhausted as they recover. She is basking in the afterglow, trying to remember back to what set him off when she remembers. "So, that was sudden."

He rolls to her side and smiles at her, a pure, thrilled smile, before he says "well, I waited more than 10 years for that, I was inspired."

She looks at him confused, "What do you mean?"

He is still amused that she doesn't fully understand the significance. "You never told me before. Agreed when I asked, but never said those words."

She feels both thrilled that they came so easy and heartbroken that it took so long and that he was obviously so moved by them. She grabs his face with a hand and looks directly at him as she tells him again. "I love you, so much, and I have for so long."

His eyes are watering, he's not tearing up, but keeps the eye contact. "I love you too."

Veronica kisses him gently and once again settles into the crook of his shoulder, both needing a shower at this point, but not wanting to move. "So I guess my story was a good thing then?"

He squeezes her against him. "A great thing."

"So, any stories you want to tell me, any times you were jealous?"

He looks at her amused, "I think it was obvious when I was jealous, although it started later than yours did, after Lilly died."

She looks vaguely hurt that it started so much later. "So never jealous when Lilly was still here?" She thought she had dealt with most of her insecurities before, but it starts creeping back but Logan can see it start and explains.

"Hey, not because of what you're thinking of. I always liked you, thought you were hot, sexy, you were everything. You were just too good for me and I think that we have realized that the Kane's kept us in our places, which was being in service to them. They both fed my insecurities. So I was angry, depressed, sad, all of that because we could have been so much closer if they hadn't interfered, but how could I be jealous. When the town turned on your family and you were alone, I was the focus of your attention, or Duncan was and that was easy enough to distract you from and back on me. It wasn't until Wallace and Weevil that I started to feel jealous, and that was sharing your attention. I didn't realize that I had started to like you until Troy, when he kissed you, and every guy since then that had your attention, I hated."

She feels better after his speech and hugs him tightly. "Well as we decided, that shouldn't be an issue any more. And I'm sorry if I was bitchy to Chris this morning. Should we invite her and Sam over or something?"

"Not any time soon, we'd run her off with all of the lovesick puppy dog affection, it drives her crazy."

"Then I guess it'll wait, maybe a few months then?"

"Maybe. For now, how about a shower?"

She looks at him and kisses him before she stands and walks to the bathroom. He jumps up and follows, intending to take his time, in no rush when she's with him.


End file.
